I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
