Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
