I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
