I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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