I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
