Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
