Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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