Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
