I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize