Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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