if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
