glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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