just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
