Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
should my penis look like a turkey
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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