One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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