Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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