i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
