it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
