Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
