Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
