nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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