I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
