This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
