Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
