I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
