the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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