all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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