first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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