I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
