I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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