where am i from again
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize