dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
