Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
