Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if only i could text you this smell
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
