One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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