The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
