The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize