Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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