Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
