do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
