Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
