I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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