We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
