what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
