I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
