too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
