do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
