I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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