god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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