So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
