New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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