it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
